I am an extrovert with self-diagnosed FOMO, otherwise known as the fear of missing out. When it comes to college students, I think a majority can relate. A college campus is a huge concentration of people roughly the same age trying to meet new people, try new things and have new experiences. Naturally, there is a lot going on at all times. Due to the constant activity and social encounters, alone time is often overlooked and undervalued.

So much of the “college experience” is defined through social activities, but spending time alone is just as valid of an experience.

College students become so used to doing things with peers that even small tasks like going to the library to study, doing laundry or grocery shopping become awkward for some to do alone. The pressure to constantly be with people is especially prevalent when it comes to going out with your friends at night or going to parties. However, a lot of times I notice students would rather stay in, but the pressures to have the stereotypical college social life forces them to go out. Why is it that this generalistic idea of what college students should be doing to feel fulfilled contradict with spending some time alone?

We often fail to see the benefits of spending time alone. When we are always surrounded by our peers we start to lose sight on our own thoughts, opinions, and views. We blend in instead of standing out. Alone time allows personal reflection without defiling it with anyone else’s influence.

In order to grow as individuals, we need to know just what kind of individual we are. Spending time alone allows us to do what we want and think what we want, and from that stems who we want to be.

As a college student, I know questions of who you want to be and what you want to do can seem incredibly daunting. They become especially harder to answer when you don’t even know who you are now. However, I can almost guarantee that who you want to be is not just a compilation of the people around you, but an actual, authentic and unique reflection of yourself. Don’t get me wrong, there will be amazing people who will impact your life greatly, but it is not solely the sum of the people around you that make you who you are.

The ability to separate yourself and do things on your own then translates into a growing independence. As we transition from more or less protection and security of our youth years to the real world, independence becomes a trait not allowed to be forgotten. If you can only function with people around you and constant support, then you are limiting yourself from any sort of personal growth or success.

Thinking for ourselves starts with knowing ourselves, and knowing ourselves comes from spending time with just ourselves. Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely. It takes the ability to be comfortable with yourself and let go of needing the constant approval from others.

The “college experience” is more than just social. The experiences you have in college have the ability to greatly impact who you are and who you want to be and some of those experiences are best done alone.

Sam Miner can be reached at mine0034@stthomas.edu