Reflection pieces can be easy to start and difficult to finish, or difficult on both ends.

So I thought I’d get a little help. This week I was assigned to write a piece to the tune of “College taught me…” I initially just reached out to my fellow seniors, but then I spread out to anyone who has ever been a part of college. Everyone that responded to my query confirmed that they were a much different person coming into college than they are now, and this was exactly what I wanted to tap into and explore.

But how do you explore a topic like college? There are a million different ways to go through college, which is another big reason I decided to ask people about their experiences. Here’s what I found.

College starts out scary. Even if the social environment is booming and exciting, it’s nerve wracking.

A lot of college relies on you. For much of our lives we are told what is best for us by the people who are older than us. And they’re still there, but in college we have way more freedom to work with. And we’re asked that question that we love to ponder but might dread actually answering, “What do you want to do?”

Some of us have known since we were kids. And that doesn’t even mean that we still won’t change our minds. I remember showing up to an education class on the first day of sophomore year and being nervous because I already had English, communications, and psychology up in the air for possible majors. I wanted to explore, but I wanted to feel a sense of direction.

The biggest message that I got from everyone that I reached out to and who reached out to me was the importance of feeling comfortable being uncomfortable. It can even happen in the classroom: You declare a major in an area that you are interested in and want to excel at, but you become aware that you are nowhere near the smartest person in the room. And sometimes that’s fine, but sometimes when hours of effort yields subpar grades, you start to feel lost.

Feeling lost sucks. Especially when the days turn to weeks and sometimes even to months. Even if stability feels monotonous, losing purpose in any area of life can take the spring out of your step, literally or metaphorically. But when that happens, it’s important to keep a few things in mind.

“I learned that mental and physical health are more important than school.”

“I learned that college ISN’T actually the best four years of your life.”

Those are two quotes from Facebook responses that I received after asking my soon-to-be graduating class what college taught them. Whether it’s ambition or not taking care of yourself in general, it’s important to make sure that we don’t run ourselves into the ground. Balancing classes, jobs, volunteering, internships, intramurals, social life, etc. can be overwhelming. Even if it does provide you with a sense of purpose that does not mean that it should run your life. Take a break.

And for those who really loved college, I would encourage you to not dismiss the second quote as bitter. The idea of greeting the real world comes with the image of a cubicle and a nervous laugh of: “I don’t know how to adult.” When we go from taking class with our friends, eating with our friends, living with our friends and spending weekends with them, the thought of leaving that behind is just as scary as starting college was to begin with.

Even if the biggest lesson you learned in college was how to get through college, there are so many aspects to the college experience that it seems impossible you didn’t learn something important, whether it was the best of times or the worst of times for you. Feeling lost is difficult, especially when you are expected to (with some help of course) put yourself back on the horse.

Jeffrey Langan can be reached at lang5466@stthomas.edu